A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the White House

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Earlier this year the BBC reported that Sun co-founder Scott McNealy had been asked by the Obama Administration to prepare a  paper on open source.  In an interview with the BBC McNealy said that he wanted to ensure the government does not get “locked in” to one specific vendor or company and is quoted in saying “The government ought to mandate open source products based on open source reference implementations to improve security, get higher quality software, lower costs, higher reliability – all the benefits that come with open software.”     Given the recent announcement of Oracle’s intent to acquire Sun I wondered how a meeting between President Obama and McNealy might play out.  Scott is known for delivering somewhat amusing top ten lists to get his point across, so I’ve taken the liberty of creating one for him.

Top 10 Ways the Oracle Acquisition of Sun Helps Government

10.Replacing free MySQL database servers with Oracle Standard Edition at $47.5k per CPU will definitely start money moving in the economy.

9. One of the failing banks could be salvaged to specialize in funding Oracle purchases.

8. Oracle can teach the government a thing or two about raising taxes when people are least receptive to it.  Just last year when CIOs were crying that they didn’t have any money the Oracle Tax was raised by 15-20%.

7. With the margins Oracle plans to make on Sun hardware we can afford to package future products in a Cadillac Escalade and alleviate the automotive crisis while still making a profit.

6. Allowing a handful of technology companies to consolidate the technology industry in the same way that the auto makers did the US automotive industry should be just as effective.

5. Even the Republicans agree that Linux and MySQL are unAmerican.

4. Bidding for government contracts can now be streamlined to consider only those vendors that can provide the complete solution from the hardware and storage up to the user interfaces.

3. The fact that 18 out of 20 failed banks ran on Oracle is purely coincidental.

2. Java will move from an “open source” to an “open wallet” model and given its pervasiveness will get everyone spending again.

1. Forget waterboarding; the Oracle sales team have torture techniques that are far more effective and a lot less controversial.

I would love to hear from you if you have something to add.

About Emma McGrattan

As SVP of Engineering at Actian, Emma leads development for the Actian Vector team, including the Ingres and X100 components, and the Actian Matrix Planner team. A leading authority in DBMS technologies, Emma is celebrating 20 years in Ingres and Actian Engineering.

View all posts by Emma McGrattan →

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